


of matters left unspoken

by strawberriez8800 (orphan_account)



Series: the flaws of sensibility [2]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:01:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22209094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/strawberriez8800
Summary: Once Jimmy was back in his room, the events that had transpired seemed nothing more than a whimsical fantasy.However, when there was a knock on his door with Thomas on the other side, Jimmy knew this was, indeed,real.Oh, how terrifying, wicked and delightful it was all at once.
Relationships: Thomas Barrow/Jimmy Kent
Series: the flaws of sensibility [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1598692
Comments: 4
Kudos: 69





	of matters left unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> A sequel to _candlelit eyes_.

It was rather curious a thing, how the world resumed around Jimmy with nothing amiss, even when his own world shifted upon his confession to Thomas.

Thomas went on just as the world did, as though the night of his name day were one of Jimmy’s feverish dreams. Still, Jimmy was very much certain that it _did_ happen _,_ which made Thomas’s apparent disregard sting all the more so. Surely there was a case to be made for his actions, of which Jimmy had made it his purpose to learn.

Two weeks had passed before an opportunity presented itself. There was going to be a fair in the village, and the servants were granted an early time off to attend the event if they so chose. “I ask that you return Lord Grantham’s kindness with _sensibility_ ,” Carson announced. “And return to the House with the Crawleys’ name in tact, and yourself in one piece.”

It was only logical that Jimmy should make amends with Thomas under the guise of the fair - though what amends, Jimmy couldn’t be sure; if Thomas had found his previous actions distasteful, the man did not make it known. Regardless, Thomas’s indifference drove him _mad_ and Jimmy was going to ask for an explanation, pride be damned.

“Thomas, come to the fair with me this evening,” Jimmy whispered to him over breakfast. It wasn’t a request, nor did Jimmy mean it to be. 

Thomas lifted his gaze to Jimmy from his newspaper, the hint of a smile playing on his mouth. “Isn’t everyone going? Except for Carson, who insists on being miserable, the codger.”

“I don’t mean with _everyone_.” Jimmy took a large gulp of his tea. He grimaced as the beverage burned his tongue and he kicked himself for the shortsightedness. “I want to go with only you.”

Thomas stopped in the midst of reaching for his coffee. He contemplated the suggestion for a moment, then, finally - “Sounds like a plan.” The gentle flush on Thomas’s usual porcelain cheeks did not elude Jimmy and, oh, it pleased him terribly. 

* * *

There was something to be said about sneaking to the back of the House, as if the consequences of discovery would put him in peril; the thrill of stealth sent a nonsensical sort of elation through Jimmy, like a lovesick fool seeking out for his forbidden lover.

Of course, he was only meeting Thomas in the backyard before embarking for the village, just as the rest of the servants were getting ready for the outing. This way it was unlikely for them to be dragged along with the others. All this effort for a little bit of privacy - still, it would be worth it. 

In the yard, Thomas stood holding a cigarette with his back against the wall. The world was quiet around him, as though every living creature stopped in its tracks at his presence. Despite his nonchalance - or perhaps because of it - he commanded attention with an ease that only Adonis could match. Jimmy fancied the days of Thomas being a footman, poised on the edge of a ballroom whilst lords and ladies alike cast coy glances over glasses of champagne -

Jimmy caught himself in the moment. He cleared his throat and stepped into the yard.

Thomas's eyes shifted from the smoke and regarded Jimmy with a steady gaze. The beginnings of a smile graced Thomas's lips. "Evening, Jimmy. Ready to go?" 

The pair commenced on their journey, basking in the glow of sunset. The autumn winds chased away the memories of summer and carried the sounds of their conversation. Try as he might, Jimmy could not bring himself to ask the question that had plagued him very much so. He toyed with the words in his mind, juggled them around in an attempt to sound _assured_ . What would he say - _Thomas, now that I’ve kissed you, what do you plan to do about it?_ The sheer absurdity of it tied up his tongue before he even tried to voice the thought.

“Jimmy, is there something the matter?”

“No.” His reply came too quick and the regret was instant. “Actually, there is.” There was no taking them back now. 

Thomas remained silent in expectation, eyes searching with a sombre curiosity.

“After the night of your name day,” Jimmy began. It was all he could do to stop the words from choking in his throat. “I had thought things would be - different.”

“Jimmy…”

There was no question that the universe existed to spite Jimmy’s efforts when he heard familiar voices in the direction of Downton Abbey. Figures of what resembled Ivy, Daisy and Alfred were approaching and Jimmy wanted to scream from frustration.

He willed a calmness upon himself with a deep breath; there would be time for this discussion later. Jimmy took Thomas by the hand and started walking away. “Come on, I’d rather they not see us. Being stuck with _Alfred_ on the way there would be quite tiresome.”

“Alright,” came Thomas’s voice behind him. Jimmy glanced over his shoulder to see the man staring at their intertwined hands. Jimmy gave Thomas’s palm a little squeeze. The sound of an approaching cart forced him to pull his hand away and in that moment Jimmy wished desperately for some respite from this world.

* * *

The Summer’s End Fair in Downton Village seemed _the_ occasion to catch, evident by the myriads of men, women and children from all walks of life. Games and food stands alike vied for the attention of fair-goers, each showcasing their highlights as though in audition. 

One in particular secured Jimmy’s interest and he approached the Tin Can Alley with Thomas in his wake. 

“What’s the prize?” Thomas asked. The stall owner brought out a garish stuffed animal. Jimmy pulled a face of disgust to Thomas, who laughed at his response.

Ten cans were stacked in a pyramid some yards away and Thomas had his turn first. With his three palm-sized bags he managed to knock down seven of the cans. 

“Did you even try, Thomas?” Jimmy teased. Thomas simply gestured to the new pyramid with a smile. In Jimmy’s turn he proceeded to take out six of the ten cans. The cans appeared to be machinated such that it was nigh impossible to get them all; a rigged contest if there was ever one.

“Well done,” Thomas said. He pushed himself off the stall post that he had been leaning against. “Though I trust you aren’t upset about the stuffed toy? Seems we would only get that if we knocked all ten down.”

“Sod it. Let’s go.”

Folk music weaved through the air, a puppeteer of the masses with the dance floor as its theatre. As they walked past the swinging crowd, Jimmy yearned to join them. Alas, Thomas would be the only one he wanted to dance with and they couldn’t very well do it right here. 

As chance would have it, he saw Ivy and Alfred on the dance floor - the bugger must be _elated_ at this opportunity - and Jimmy turned on his heel before either of them could spot him or Thomas. They decided on a booth in a corner, tucked away from the centre of festivities.

With a drink in hand and Thomas for company, people-watching had never been so engaging. They sat back and played a game, where one would point to an arbitrary figure in the sea of patrons, and the other would infer the stranger’s personality and their brand of sob story; the woman in a red frock with hair done up too high longed for attention she never received, with an ill husband back home who no longer satisfied her desires; the man in a tattered coat and a hat was secretly a lord, hidden in plain clothing to escape the clutches of his world.

By the time the evening had passed with the night’s descent, Jimmy was bolstered on a gentle buzz - light enough to be lifted a notch yet not quite potent to leave himself inebriated. Thomas had just won the second round of ring toss when he suggested they head back.

“Very sensible of you, Thomas.”

Thomas’s eyes glinted with mirth. “As opposed to you? What with your cake and letter.”

Those words struck Jimmy and his cheeks burned. By Thomas’s expression it appeared the man had just realised the gravity of his joke. “Don’t mock me,” Jimmy said. He started to walk out of the fair towards the House.

Thomas hurried along and fell into step beside him. “I’m sorry, Jimmy - I wasn’t thinking. That was unkind.”

“Yes, it was - especially when you hadn’t said a word of it until tonight and when you do it is in jest.”

“Jimmy, please.”

Jimmy came to a halt and faced Thomas directly. In another time he wouldn’t so much as dream to confront Thomas in this manner, but tonight the liquid courage was aiding in his pursuit. “You’ve been pretending that night never happened, and I haven’t got a clue why. You do realise how humiliating this is for me? For _weeks_ I wondered if you simply didn’t care -” He was rambling now, saying far too much than his heart allowed and he forced himself to stop.

Thomas’s eyes were glassy in the light from the street lamp. When he spoke Jimmy suspected that Thomas was hurting from Jimmy’s own outburst and he hated himself in that moment. “Sorry, I didn’t mean for you to feel badly about it - bloody hell I need a smoke,” Thomas said. He retrieved a cigarette from his pocket and lit it after a bit of fumbling. 

With a therapeutic inhale Thomas let the smoke into the air. As Thomas regained composure, he turned back to Jimmy. “I’m very glad to have received your gifts, Jimmy. And - well - with what happened afterwards, I didn’t know what to do. I thought about talking to you about it the next day, but it seemed - improper. So I let things go on as they did before. Now I realise how foolish it was, and I'm sorry for it.”

The sentiment in Thomas’s words sparked a raw need for Jimmy to take him into his arms. Therefore when the request spilled from Jimmy’s lips it was laced with a conviction that felt oddly at home. “Kiss me now, Thomas.”

“What?”

“You heard me.” Jimmy closed the gap between them with a kiss on Thomas’s mouth - gently - fearing the man might break under his touch. Thomas’s lips felt cool in the night brisk, yet it started a light in Jimmy all the same. Jimmy pulled away for a second, searching for any indication that Thomas wanted more - and Thomas leaned in to bring their lips together again.

The sound of intoxicated chatter from a nearby group jolted Jimmy back to reality and he took a step back. “We shouldn't be doing this - not here,” he said, the flush still high on his cheeks. “Let’s go back now.”

Thomas, looking just as undone as Jimmy felt, gave a tight nod. Jimmy drank in the sight of the man - so subtly dishevelled that one might miss if they weren’t looking for it. The knowledge that _he,_ Jimmy Kent, was the cause of his fluster was the most sensual thing Jimmy had experienced - in spite of its seeming insignificance - and it threatened to unravel him. He shook it off, and kept his thoughts from wandering.

The walk to the House seemed far longer than it should be, yet when they arrived it all seemed to end too quickly. Neither of them said a word to the other aside from a tentative ‘good night’ as they went into their own rooms, though furtive glances were cast over unspoken thoughts. 

Once Jimmy was back in his room, the events that had transpired seemed nothing more than a whimsical fantasy. He began to undress himself for the night in a state of stupor, present yet not quite as he re-lived his memories. When there was a knock on his door with Thomas on the other side, Jimmy knew this was, indeed, _real_.

Oh, how terrifying, wicked and delightful it was all at once.

**Author's Note:**

> Because I love writing about Jimmy adoring Thomas. I also love writing about how beautiful Thomas is.


End file.
